Best and Worst Strip Clubs Series: Knockouts Gentleman’s Club
A bunch of Jesus freaks inspired me to do a review of Knockout Gentleman’s Club in Albuquerque, where I spent this past weekend vacationing with my wife. Walking down Central Avenue, we stumbled on some protesters outside the club holding up signs that read things like “Ask Me Why You Deserve Hell” and “The Wicked Shall Be Turned Into Hell.” This, of course, only made me want to get a few table dances at Knockouts.
As a disclaimer, I had only been to Knockouts one time before this weekend and I was only able to spend about an hour and a half there during this visit. I was also there during the day, so I did not get to experience this club at a peak time.
Knockout Gentleman’s Club is located in the heart of Albuquerque in a kick ass part of downtown. The club is small and there is only one stage, but overall this is a club you definitely need to hit when you are in town.
Club layout and lighting
There is one stage in the center of the club. The stage is kind of small, but it is not that high off the ground, which makes for some great dances. There are mirrors that line the walls of the club, giving you a great view of all the dancers. The lighting around the stage is not the best and could use an upgrade. However, the lighting in the VIP area is dim and perfect for an intimate dance from your favorite stripper.
Hotness and attitude of dancers
I went to Knockouts at about 4:30 in the afternoon so I was not there for the cream of the crop of hot dances. That is usually the time of day when the Junior Varsity team is out on the floor. I was blown away by how many strippers were working at that time of day (at least 10, which is not bad considering there were only about 15 guys there) and the hotness of these ladies. If this is the JV team, then I can’t wait to see what the girls are like at a peak time. Every dancer I talked to had a great attitude. I was approached by almost every dancer and asked if I wanted a dance. None of these ladies seemed like the stuck up coke whores you sometimes find in other clubs.
Price of overpriced drinks and dances
There was no cover charge when I was there, but there was a two drink minimum. That cost me $12, which is not bad compared to other clubs. As I have said before, when you go to a strip club you know you have to bite the bullet and pay way more for drinks than at a regular bar. The upside is there are titties everywhere, so I rarely complain about overprices drinks. Lap dances were only $10 in the VIP area. And the dances I get from the very sexy Brooklyn were worth every fucking penny. I have been to clubs with $10 dances and most of the time you get what you pay for, but Knockouts gives you VIP treatment at a very minimal cost.
Privateness of the VIP room
The VIP area at Knockouts is phenomenal. Made up of several private booths, the couches are wide and deep, designed to give the dancer plenty of room to put on a good show. This is a very small club, so I was pleasantly surprised to find such a great VIP area.
“X” factor
The X Factor of Knockouts is the location. There are a ton of bars, restaurants and kick ass hotels in a small area of downtown Albuquerque. That makes Knockouts a great club to visit while bar hopping on a Friday or Saturday night and a great stop if you are in town for business and need some titties in your face to help get you through your next lame meeting. Knockouts is within walking distance of the Hyatt, the Doubletree hotel and the Convention Center. They have a discreet entrance in the back for those of you who don’t want to walk into the club right off the main street. It is one of the most convenient clubs I have ever been to in terms of location.
Knockout Gentleman’s Club is a great club. I highly recommend this club. And if those asshole protesters are out in front of the club, ask them why you deserve to go to hell.
~Tip
Tippy is the Heavy Hands blogger and can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .