Kimbo, Butterbean and Clubber Lang…do they all belong to the same elite Fight Club?

Dear Mr. Slice:

First, may I call you Kimbo? I feel like I know you because I followed your backyard bare knuckled fighting career on YouTube diligently. You beat the fuck out of a lot of dudes and I admire that about you. Didn’t you even once punch a guy so hard his eye popped out? That’s badass, Kimbo.

I don’t know if you realize this or not, but you just entered the ring of an elite Fight Club, if you will. Like Butterbean who came before you, and Clubber Lang who came before him, you are now part of the select few fighters we want to see kick ass, but who just end up disappointing us at the end of the day. It’s not your fault that we’re disappointed; it’s ours. Every time a fighter like you comes along, we see a little part of ourselves in him. You’re not a guy with his own style of karate that was passed down for 12 generations or a 22-year old guy with 19 years of hardcore wrestling under your belt.

Most of the elite MMA fighters, no matter their background, have one thing in common: raw athletic talent. Over time, they developed that talent so they could become the superior fighters they are today. You got to this level on fucking brute force. That’s admirable, but I don’t think it’s enough to make it to the top of this sport. Now that doesn’t mean you don’t have a place in this sport, but it’s not with UFC, which we can both admit is the top dog.

You learned a lot about how to compete at a championship level. I saw how dedicated you were learning how to have a complete fight game, and I think you earned respect from a lot of people for it. I was pulling for you to destroy Matt Mitrione and prove to everyone that you deserved to fight at this elite level. But a few days after that fight I thought of what it might look like if you fought Brock Lesner. You might have lave learned what it’s like to get hit so hard you lose an eye.

So how can I compare you to Butterbean and Clubber Lang, you may ask? Well the Butterbean comparison should be kind of obvious. The Bean broke into legit boxing for a while and even fought some MMA fights after winning five Toughman contests. While he lacked your killer instinct and had no access to a gym apparently, he was a tough fucking dude. But Clubber Lang…that dude was an asshole, right? He took down Rocky and literally scared Mickey to death. Clubber, although fictitious, was a guy I always rooted for because he was fucking hungry to win. He was a fucking beast and did not let anything stand in his way of doing exactly what he wanted to do. Fuck Rocky in that movie! He let the fame and money get to him and he lost his hunger for the fight. Clubber never did, and I hope you never do either.

Kimbo, I’ve been a fan of yours since the backyard days and I’m sure you’ll find your place in this sport. Oh, and if you run into Butterbean at the next meeting, can you get his autograph for me?

Sincerely,

Tip

Tippy is the Heavy Hands blogger.  He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .