Ooh, here's how Mike Tyson is like a hooker!
Sorry, Tip, that things worked out so crappy for the event. But hello? What did you expect? Your host is having you over for UFC. And called it a "party"? C'mon. And don't be mean, you know that dude was hard at work collecting cans all week just to provide his "friends" with that sketchy internet hookup. I don't even have PMS - er, ESP - and I surmise that he additionally plied all two of you with Mickey's Big Mouths (a case for $3.99!), pork rinds, and shots of "Tuh-kill-ya".*
OF COURSE MMA is like a hooker, yo.
Both are missing lots of teeth, run around half nekked, and jump from man to man like Swine Flu. Either will be fine pursuing their line of work for mere ducats, hoping that eventually a man will come (ahem) along and be swept offa their feet. Plus, both is sweaty work. Lots of writhing and panting and such.
I get you on the boxing front. But you're missing Hagler/Hearns, Bowe/Holyfield, De la Hoya/Mayweather...and I submit that though Tyson was a legendary fighter, he no longer gets the distinction of having legendary fights. Until he got all crazy wife beater rapist jail guy, it was actually pretty boring to watch his fights, knowing damn well that he was going to KO his opponent in two rounds. To me, that's boring. I like to watch the Dance. Tyson became a caricature of what a fighter is supposed to be, he and Don King ruined boxing. Ruined I say! But since he did threaten to eat children and actually stomp on testicles, he does get the high honor of Biggest. Douchebag. Ever.
And I watched live, the fight when he bit Holyfield's ear. You're watching watching watching...and then...
EVERYONE EVER: Did he just do that?
E.E.: Really?
E.E: Ewwww.....
Ooh, here's how Mike Tyson is like a hooker! He lives in Las Vegas, he's broke, and hasn't seen the light of day in nigh on 15 years. Oh, and he was in "The Hangover", which solidified his place in the canon of Douchebags Who Still Can't Get it Together, No Matter How Cool You Might Seem in a Movie. To wit: Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, Michael Jordan, and coming to a theater near you...Tiger Woods.
In my humble MMA experience (read: none) I definitely think your friend is absolutely correct. UFC is practically a metaphor for the world's oldest profession. They always wind up on their backs, and someone is getting screwed.
Love!