Best and Worst Strip Clubs in America: TD’s North in Albuquerque

As promised, here is my first article in the “Best and Worst Strip Clubs in America” series. I’ll start the series by laying out a few criteria I use to evaluate a strip club:

• Club layout and lighting
• Hotness and attitude of dancers
• Privateness of the VIP room
• Cost of overpriced drinks and dances
• The “X” factor

I’m starting with one of the best clubs I have ever been to. I consider TD’s North in Albuquerque, NM as my home court of strip clubs. And why not? You will not find a better club in the Southwest. When it comes to layout and lighting, TD’s North delivers. They have a long catwalk main stage that extends from the back of the club well past the center of the main room. But they don’t stop there. The club features a smaller stage off to the side that is as nice as the main stage in many clubs. Most of the time you will find hot, topless girls dancing on both stages. At a strip club, you want enough light to be able to see all the goods of the ladies, but also dark enough to feel like you’re doing something skullduggerous. TD’s hits the mark.

On or off the catwalk, the girls are all smoking fucking hot and they all pretend to like you. We all suspend our disbelief when we walk into these places and want to believe that these hot naked girls actually dig us. Nothing pisses me off more than dancers who walk around with a snobby fucking attitude. You rarely run across girls with attitude at TD’s.

Let’s face it; going to the club is all about ending the night in the VIP room. My goal at any strip club is to get a girl who would not otherwise give me the time of day to treat me like a fucking rock star. I get that I have to pay a premium for that, so I want to get the most bang for my buck (pun intended). The TD’s VIP room is phenomenal. It’s a bit pricey to get into ($25), but it features leather couches and chairs and some dark and private corners. It really is a place where dreams can come true.

TD’s is a club where you can have fun on any budget. You don’t have to be a rock star or gangsta rapper to have a good time. There are times of the day when you can get in with no cover charge and they always have great drink specials. You’re also gonna get your money’s worth for even the lowest priced table dance, mainly because of the aforementioned dancers attitude.

The “X” factor of TD’s North is the food. You would not expect a strip club to be a place where you can get a quality meal, but you can here. I have been to TD’s many times for some high quality fried bar food and a table dance while in Albuquerque on business.

I highly recommend TD’s North. If you go ask for Annie. She has a huge tattoo all up the left side of her body and can rock a table dance like no other dancer I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

~Tip